Set the sails I feel the winds a'stirring
Toward the bright horizon set the way
Cast your wreckless dreams upon our Mayflower
Haven from the world and her decay
(OK, I think that it's deliberate that they mentioned the Mayflower rather the The Beagle... the journey to the promised land of America fits the lyrics better than The Beagle..., but there ya go!)
I set my sails when I became a Christian as a child. I prayed a prayer and committed my life to Christ at a Christian camp - a not uncommon "conversion experience" to many, including my sisters and brother, who all three likewise committed themselves to Christ as about the same time. But, even though I was only 11 at the time, it was very real and powerful for me. And like so many evangelicals, that prayer of commitment then led to a life of dedication to the Christian way, reading the bible every day (was never very good at that, but I tried really hard, using scripture notes from Scripture Union, whuich I found very moving and helpful) and praying that God, whom I now knew as a personal saviour, would guide me in everything that I did.
I loved biology at O and A-level, and so went to University (Reading) to study Zoology (I then thought plants were boring coz they didn't move!), and I really enjoyed the course. Inevitably I came up against the evolution/creation controversy (The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins came out when I was at University) and struggled hard with it. I initially went to Uni as a naive 'creationist' since I had been in touch with the wonderfully querky Evolution Protest Movement (and later the slightly more sensible Biblical Creation Society) but the more I studied the more I realized that 'young earth creationism' just would not do. There was far too much evidence againist their point of view that the earth was only a few thousand years ago and that their veiw that evolutionary change was a lie put about by 'godless' scientists just didn't hold water.
It then with a great sense of relief that in my final year at Uni, I was then in touch with the organization Christians in Science (what used to be called the Research Scientists' Christian Fellowship) which had many professional scientists, many of them biologists, gelologists and palaeontologists, who took a very different view. Indeed I then served on its committee for some 13 years, proving that I was died-in-the-wool evangelical because all members of any UCCF committee has to sign the UCCF declaration of faith - a declaration that, in all honesty, I don't think I could now sign to, for various reasons.
And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin
Fighting for a system built to fail
Who's doing the fighting - and what system are they fighting for? It's not clear - but the haunting words/music sometimes make me think I used to 'fight for a system built to fail', i.e. evangelicalism.
Spooning water from their broken vessels
As far as I can see there is no land
Oh my god, the water's all around us
Oh my god, it's all around
The certainty of evangelical Christian faith is now no longer mine - it's been eroded by life circumstances (which I'll explain in further blogs no doubt), and indeed I feel like I used to 'spoon water from a broken vessel', the church, or at least the churches that I used to attend (in the more evangelical tradition). And there was no 'land' to be seen - the land in The Low Anthem's song seems to me to be the certainty of God's presence in everything I used to do - and now that's gone and all that is left is 'water all around'.
And who could heed the words of Charlie Darwin
The lords of war just profit from decay
And trade their children's promise for the jingle
The way we trade our hard earned time for pay
Oh my god, the water's cold and shapeless
Oh my god, it's all around
Oh my god, life is cold and formless
Oh my god, it's all around
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